Noteworthy Passages: Seth Baumgartner's Love Manifesto

Seth Baumgartner's Love Manifesto by Eric Luper
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Pub. Date: June 1st, 2010
Pages: 293
Age Level: 14+

Synopsis via Goodreads
Seth Baumgartner just had the worst day of his life: His girlfriend dumped him (at Applebee’s), he spied his father on a date with a woman who is not his mother (also at Applebee’s!), and he lost his fourth job of the year. It’s like every relationship he cares about is imploding, and he can’t figure out what’s going on.

To find answers, Seth decides to start an anonymous podcast called The Love Manifesto, exploring “what love is, why love is, and why we’re stupid enough to keep going back for more.” Things start looking up when Seth gets a job at a golf club with his hilarious and smut-minded best friend, Dimitri, and Dimitri’s sister, Audrey. With their help, Seth tracks down his father’s mystery date, hits the most infamous bogey in the history of golf, and discovers that sometimes love means eating the worst chicken-salad sandwich you can ever imagine.

Noteworthy Passages
(WARNING: Some mild language and sexual references.)

Seth, his Dad, and his Mom; pg. 11
"It's not all right. I stood behind that company-I invested in them-and one horny bastard just cost me twelve grand overnight! A million bucks in a year on lap dances? How does someone do that?"
My mother sips her coffee. "It's a miracle those dancers didn't wear him down to a nub."
The laugh busts out of me before I can reel it back in, and it takes everything I have to not spew my mouthful of cereal across the table.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Seth," Mom says, her face flushing pinker than the marshmallow hearts floating in my bowl.

Seth; pg. 65
I remember listening to my grandfather talk to my dad at the hospital. He said that when he croaked he wanted a simple funeral-no fancy stuff. Plain pine box. Graveside service. In fact, he told my father, "Jam a hambone in my ass, let a dog drag me around, and bury me wherever that dog lets go."

Seth; pg. 139-140
Words can't describe what I feel next. The sandwich is salty, sour, spicy, and bitter all at the same time. Something in it tugs at my innards, like my stomach wants to leap out through my throat. My tongue burns, and my eyes water. My gag reflex goes into overdrive and I frantically search for a garbage can. I burst back outside and hack my mouthful into the nearest planter I can find: hosta, daylilies, impatiens, and now a bite-sized chunck of chewed up repulsiveness.
The.
Worst.
Sandwich.
Ever.

Seth; pg. 217
I hear light footsteps coming up behind me. It's Audrey. I notice her T-shirt. It reads:

To Kill a Mockingbird
Get hammer
Hold down mockingbird
Hit it in the head

It's exactly what I want to do to Dimitri.

Seth; pg. 285
I stare out the window and let the buildings slide by. Each one houses one or more families with their own shades of gray, their own definitions of love, no two exactly alike.
~~~~~~~~~

That's it folks. I sure hope that these passages combined with my Review are more than plenty enough to get you wating to read this awesome novel!









PLEASE NOTE: This is a feature hosted here at my blog in which I present you with selected passages or quotes that I deem Noteworthy from a book I've just reviewed. My hopes are of course, that these passages will make you want to pick the book up and read it. This feature was started and created by me in January in hopes of making my blog more unique. That being said, I would like to kindly request that you do not use this feature as it was intended to be for my blog only and is not a meme. If you see some one else using it, please know it is without my permission. Thank you.